The desire to be a parent is strong; in fact, it can be downright overwhelming! Maybe you dream of holding an impossibly small life in your arms or find yourself aching for all the love that you want to give to a child. If you are not able to have children of your own, your dream of parenthood isn’t over! You have options that can still put that little bundle of joy in your arms. Should you try to adopt or consider surrogacy?
Let me be very clear here, in the question of adoption versus surrogacy, there is absolutely no right or wrong decision; just the decision that is right for you! This is a question that each couple must grapple with on their own. It takes a lot of consideration, communication, and checking in with the heart to come to your answer. As you can imagine, at Circle of Life Surrogacy, the couples we work with have chosen to pursue surrogacy, and the point of this article is to explain the reasons why. Here are the top reasons we hear from our couples about why they chose surrogacy over adoption:
1. Genetic Connection
For some parents, having a child that is biologically theirs is extremely important. They want to see their own eyes shining back up at them and know that their child is a genetic mixture of each (or at least one) parent. Some parents also feel that they will bond better with their own biological children.
2. Healthy Pre-Natal Care
One big benefit of the pursuing surrogacy with a high quality agency like Circle of Life Surrogacy is that all surrogates receive extraordinary pre-natal healthcare. Your surrogate has been screened carefully to ensure that she lives in a healthy, supportive, and stable home environment. Your surrogacy fee also covers all of her healthcare costs, and your agency will ensure that she gets the best care possible. We all know how important the gestational period is to every faucet of a baby’s life, from their future health to even their intelligence! With surrogacy, you can be assured that your baby receives great care from day one!
3. You Choose the Surrogate
Surrogacy gives parents a huge measure of control that just doesn’t exist in the realm of adoption. When you work with an agency, you will tell your case coordinator exactly what type of surrogate you want. Your coordinator will then make matches you can approve or reject.
4. You Are a Part of the Pregnancy
The surrogacy process allows you to be a part of your baby’s life from day one. You will know as soon as your surrogate receives the results of her pregnancy test, and we encourage our parents to attend medical appointments with the surrogate. Through surrogacy, you’ll be able to see your baby grow from a ball of cells to a fetus with arms and legs. You can even hear his or her heart beating on the ultrasound. In this way, you can begin to bond with your baby even before he or she enters the world.
5. Legal Security
With the surrogacy process, there are absolutely no surprises when it comes to parental rights of the baby. You and your surrogate sign binding contracts at the start of the process, so your claim of parenthood can never be challenged. Well-regarded surrogacy agencies, like Circle of Life, also have a comprehensive psychological evaluation performed on all of our surrogates and only hire surrogates who have children at home. You never have to worry that you won’t be able to bring your bundle of joy home!
6. Adoption is Long and Uncertain
One of the biggest drawbacks of surrogacy is the chance that the surrogate won’t conceive or that she may miscarry the pregnancy. These are challenges that we cannot foresee or avoid; however, as long as the pregnancy goes smoothly, you shouldn’t experience any major surprises with the process itself. Adoption is not always so smooth. Adoption can take years, and it isn’t uncommon for them to fall through suddenly for any number of reasons. It can be emotionally traumatizing for parents to wait so long, never knowing when the adoption will finally go through.
7. Inability to Adopt
As surprising (and unfair) as it might seem, certain individuals and couples may not be allowed to adopt children based on the laws of their country. For example, certain countries do not allow gay and lesbian couples to adopt children. In other instances, a parent with a history of certain medical conditions may not be approved for adoption. No matter how much love and generosity you have in your heart, adoption may be out of your reach due to something you cannot help or change. In these instances, it may actually be easier to pursue surrogacy.
Again, the question of surrogacy versus adoption is a very personal decision that every couple must make for themselves. There are benefits, drawbacks, difficulties, and risks with each option. If you are still on the fence or want to learn more about your options, contact us at Circle of Life Surrogacy. We would be happy to answer your questions about surrogacy.